I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Damn victory sex feels great
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
