using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize