Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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