your room smells of hookers.
And success
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Randomize
