im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
