Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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