Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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