it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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