she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
