Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
