well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
