Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
