Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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