We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
The ass gains better be worth it
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