I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
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people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room