Texts From Last Night

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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.

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  (604): What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners. http://tfl.nu/ayy8
  Replies (58) Good night (832) Bad night (3895)
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  (661): View more from California

  Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.

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  (661): Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it. http://tfl.nu/dbb6
  Replies (18) Good night (1356) Bad night (3767)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore

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  (480): Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore http://tfl.nu/oifq
  Replies (27) Good night (874) Bad night (5343)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.

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  (715): I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed. http://tfl.nu/mebd
  Replies (21) Good night (4778) Bad night (893)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.

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  (586): May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner. http://tfl.nu/u3lx
  Replies (18) Good night (933) Bad night (5624)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.

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  (678): Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi. http://tfl.nu/4g6k
  Replies (11) Good night (3684) Bad night (1267)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this

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  (214): Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this http://tfl.nu/7qd9
  Replies (11) Good night (1459) Bad night (4110)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.

  (1-205): View more from Alabama

  Is it working?

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  (205): I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless. (1-205): Is it working? http://tfl.nu/ozk1
  Replies (17) Good night (4244) Bad night (1163)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.

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  (803): High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice. http://tfl.nu/ko1b
  Replies (3) Good night (1205) Bad night (609)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.

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  (773): Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame. http://tfl.nu/s2ml
  Replies (3) Good night (1089) Bad night (584)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.

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  (856): Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina. http://tfl.nu/1cex
  Replies (11) Good night (995) Bad night (385)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms

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  (330): God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms http://tfl.nu/9eem
  Replies (2) Good night (299) Bad night (506)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.

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  (802): Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college. http://tfl.nu/k8r1
  Replies (0) Good night (616) Bad night (228)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.

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  (301): I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again. http://tfl.nu/s6ax
  Replies (1) Good night (218) Bad night (362)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.

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  (631): She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her. http://tfl.nu/8434
  Replies (5) Good night (627) Bad night (264)

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