I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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