I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
