and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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