what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
