i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
