She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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