i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
