cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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