How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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