why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
