I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
