My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
time to smoke my breakfast
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This baby is an asshole
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize