I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
