Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You work out of a Hotel?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
