i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Randomize
