I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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