You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
