the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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