There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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