im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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