Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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