Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize