I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
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