It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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