4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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