Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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