she woke up with a sticky ear
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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