there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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