Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
