tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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