y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
