i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I cut my penus on the lid.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
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Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
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Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.