Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?