"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You're breaking my sexual little heart