i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
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Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
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She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.