At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?