i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
