Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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