Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Mom said you looked used
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
