you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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