That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
