I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
