I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
