remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
