My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
