I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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