just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So vagazzling was a success
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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