Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
