apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
